I was going to sit down to write a fun-filled post about my oh-so-inspiring fitness endeavours, but then I remembered something else to write about. Something that I had imagined writing weeks in advance, adding to bit by bit as time went on…although I’m coming to realise that that isn’t really how I write best. Essays, yes. Blog posts, no. So what is the topic of discussion? This joyous occasion.
Well, not the occasion so much as what it was celebrating. The start of our marriage. Three years isn’t a massive milestone when you think about it, but to us it’s pretty darn exciting. What was I doing this time three years ago? Honestly, I can’t remember. I seem to remember madly texting our pianist the night before with a last minute decision for what to play as we left the church, but other than I think I just went to sleep. I’ve always said that nothing stops me sleeping, and it’s true, not even the thought of getting married the next day could keep me from the Land of Nod!
As I think about it though, I did read through the vows we’d be reading the next day. They were the ones that most people read, which seem to cover pretty good ground.
“…to have and to hold, from this day forward,
for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health,
to love and to cherish, til death us do part…”
On reflection, we’ve been very blessed in our first three years of marriage. It’s not always been easy, there’s been a fair few ‘worse’ bits, arguments and sulking (mostly me sulking), throwing things and slamming doors, I’ve cleaned up my hubby’s sick (there was LOTS of it…I mean like LOADS), he’s washed countless pots that I left to go all crusty, and we’re about to experience some belt-tightening in the finance department, but we’ve been relatively unscathed by the tides of life thus far.
In many ways, it’s been SO much fun. I’ve never laughed so much or been so silly with anyone. We’ve gone on a few adventures, but mostly just chilled out and enjoyed being together. We’ve got to know people together, have friends that are ‘our’ friends, not ‘mine’ or ‘his’. We’ve been on holiday together, moved house together (twice).
I’ve learnt what it is to really put someone else first, in the harder things as well as the ‘you can have the last chocolate finger’ things. My wonderful man has gently shown me how controlling and bossy I can be, how insistent I am on being right, and how I don’t have to be like that. He hasn’t tried to change me, just reminds me that actually, I might not be right, and if I am, perhaps there’s another answer too? I’ve had pretty much unconditional love and patience from him, even when I really don’t give it in return.
He’s held me when I had fits of anger and despair over my university work, he’s encouraged me to be a more generous person with my time and money. His openness and willingness to talk to people, literally any person he meets/passes by, has challenged my own tendency to smile and look away.
We’re not perfect (who is?). We frequently upset each other and are constantly selfish. In amongst all our human mess though, God is doing His work and I’m so excited to see where He takes us in the next three years 🙂